George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. When you die, it all stays here. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? fetchBids: function() { If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. (function () { Creative Commons. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; (?) He loves you and he needs money. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. I love individuals. 3. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. 1. A.async = !0; 2. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Resources. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Were so self-important. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Religion class was always an easy class. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. 3. You have owners. Hes not a cheese. "Laugh often, long and loud. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? its only a symbol. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Right in the f--in head! The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Property is theft. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Who the fuck is going to invade the US? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Born: May 12, 1937. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. I hate groups of people. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; You have no choice. Nobody owns anything. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! And the supreme arrogance? George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. // Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. Theres no present. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. } Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. No money to be made off of the homeless. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. Period. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Stand-Up Comedy. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. George Carlin > Quotes (?) They own everything. Laugh until you gasp for breath. The only country that could invade America is America! if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. 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All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed.

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